Play - Baucis and Philemon

The Play of Baucis and Philemon

Cast:
Narrator
Gods - Hera, Athena, Zeus, Hermes, Apollo
Robbers - Leader, Barbarossa, Phobos, Deimos
Townspeople - Baucis, Philemon, Weaver, Merchant, Merchant's Wife, Rich woman, maiden, 4 bratty kids

Narrator: Our final tale comes from the great Roman poet Ovid. He was very fond of the Greek myths and included a story from the ancient land of Phrygia in his book of myths called the Metamorphoses.

In the land of Phrygia there was a city which was inhabited by cruel, heartless people. They were especially unkind to strangers, and news of their mistreatment bothered Zeus since he was the protector of travelers and strangers.

Hera: It has been a long time since I have had such a splendid time on Mt. Olympus. What did you think of the banquet Athena?

Athena: It was quite delightful, Queen Hera.

Apollo: I say, lord Zeus, we are surrounded by wonderful festivities and still you look deeply troubled.

Hera: Why you do look as gloomy as a tomb my kingly husband. What seems to be the problem?

Zeus: I have received word of a very ungracious group of humans, and I have decided to visit Earth to see if the reports are true. Guard over Mt. Olympus well, Queen Hera. I shall return in a few days.

Hermes: May I come too, Thunder-lord? It would be an excellent time to play some of my new tricks on humans.

Zeus: You may come along, Hermes. But you will have little chance for tricks, since we will go in mortal form.

Athena: Be careful mighty Zeus, to take on human form is a risky thing.

Zeus: I want to get first hand experience on how strangers are truly treated so it is the best disguise I can use. But thanks for your advice, Hermes and I will be cautious.

(Exit Zeus & Hermes and Curtains)

Narrator: So the two gods, Zeus chief of the Olympians, and Hermes, the speedy messenger god left the beautiful realms of Mt. Olympus and came to Earth. They traveled by foot down a long dusty road that led to Phrygia.

Zeus: This traveling as a human is a little more strenuous than I anticipated, Hermes. But I can see down in the valley a city that must be the Phrygian capital. I think we'll rest here for a bit in the shade of these oak trees. I'm completely famished and in need of some refreshment.

Hermes: If I had brought my winged sandals, I could have carried you on my back and we would have made the trip in a speedy instant.

Zeus: Well we will just have to put up with a few mortal inconveniences, my fleet-footed friend. I want to get a reliable feel of just how true the reports are about the behavior of these Phrygian citizens.

Hermes:Well I had the foresight to bring a bag of silver so that we might find a nice inn to stay in when we reach the town. No reason we have to pass up a few comforts during our little excursion. And I brought a wide selection of delicious foods so that we could have an excellent luncheon on our journey.

(Robbers peek out behind curtain)

Leader: Look lively, mates!

Barbarossa: I've got this one chief.

Phobos: And we've got this wiggly one. Should I slit open his belly and spill his guts all over the road?

Deimos: Or should I just chop off his nose and notch up his ears a bit?

Leader: No, let's see what they've got first.

Zeus: What is the meaning of this outrageous behavior?

Leader: Why this happens to be a toll road. And we're just the tax collectors here to pick up the fee.

Zeus: And how much is the cost for traveling on your road?

Leader: Why just everything you've got. (robbers laugh)

Hermes: You scoundrels, this is nothing but blatant highway robbery.

Phobos: Oh this is a sassy one. Maybe I should slit his throat, eh chief?

Leader: No let's see what these two buffoons have first.

Ah, we're just in time for lunch, lads. Here's some fresh bread, cheese, olives, and figs for dessert. Better still, this bag is heavy with silver.

Hermes: You pack of jackals. Why I've seen vultures with better manners than you! It's clear that you have no idea who you're robbing. We are royal figures and I warn you that you will face dire consequences for your actions.

Deimos: Whoa, this fellow really does have smart mouth. Maybe I ought to chop out his wagging tongue.

Zeus: I beg your pardon for my friend's lack of politeness. You see we are strangers and we are not used to the customs here. Since it is the usual to procedure for travelers to pay a fee we will gladly do so, and be sure to bring adequate provisions on our return trip.

Leader: Now you're talking, mate. Let ol' smart-mouth go, lads. And you two be on your way. Just make sure when you pass this way again that you have plenty of silver or a bag of gold. (exit Zeus & Hermes)

Barbarossa: And bring a jug of wine and some roasted meat, too. Otherwise we may need to work on ol smart-mouth's manners with some clubs. (robbers laugh, exit)

Zeus: Well here we are in the Phrygian market place, Hermes. These people look respectable enough. I simply can't believe they're as wicked as the reports I've heard. Perhaps the atrocities are all caused by that band of thieves lurking near the highway.

Hermes: It is indeed a nice market place with all sorts of delectable foods to eat. I smell roasting beef seasoned with garlic and a hint of sage. There's also the aroma of bread made with roasted almonds and raisins. Good heavens, I am simply famished. It's too bad we don't have any money.

Zeus: We'll just ask these people to help us out of their goodwill and in the name of the Olympic gods. Excuse me sir, I am a traveler and I was hoping.............

Weaver: Out of my way you, filthy peasant!

Hermes: Good people, could you spare a morsel of food?

Merchant's wife: I have nothing for you, you nasty vagrant.

Merchant: Get away from my wife before I give you both a good sound beating!

Zeus: Pardon me, my dear lady. My friend and I are strangers and we are very tired and hungry. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to share............

Rich woman: Get your dirty hands off my clothes, you beggar.

Maiden: The nerve of these low class people, trying to talk to their betters. They ought to be put in chains and sent to work in the copper mines.

Rich woman: And to think I forgot my Egyptian whip. A good sound thrashing is what these loathsome vagabonds need. Why that one looks like he has certainly got fleas and the other one is worse. I think we should report these fellows to the magistrate. They should be whipped and then sold as slaves.

Maiden: I simply despise seeing such low class peasants. It's bad enough to have to look at them and breathe the same air. But to have them try and talk to us, well that's really just too much.

(Zeus & Hermes come to the front of the stage shaking heads and muttering.)

First Kid: Hey, look at those two old men. Let's have some fun with them.

Second Kid: Yeah. Let's see who can hit them the most times.

Third Brat: Hey you stupid old geezer!

(Zeus is surprised and points to himself)

Fourth Brat: Try this on for size, you old buzzard.

Zeus: Why you uncivilized children! ..................

Hermes: Quick, my lord. This is no time for speeches. We must run for our lives.

(Exit Zeus & Hermes)

Third Brat: After them, guys!

(noise of cries of pain off stage)

Narrator: So Zeus & Hermes found that the Phrygian town was extremely unfriendly, and in fact quite hostile. After being pelted by rocks from the gang of children, the two Olympic gods went from house to house asking for help, but receiving none. Not only did they receive no food nor shelter, several times they had doors slammed in their faces and were even beaten. Finally they came to the last house of the city. It was a run-down old cottage on the top of a hill at the outskirts of the town.

Zeus: The people of this city are even worse than the reports I received.

Hermes: My lord, I have the strangest sensations where those rocks hit me.

Zeus: That is called pain, my dear Hermes. Humans often experience it.

Hermes: A most unpleasant feeling, indeed.

Zeus, these people are simply disgusting. Take those two snooty women in the market place. What a pair of harpies! I've been around pigs who had better manners. And those bratty kids, that was another charming bunch.

Zeus: An awful lot to be sure. A day around them is more misery than I could stand.

Hermes: It could be worse, think of their poor teacher. After having them all year, the worst torture in the underworld would seem like a picnic

I say, great Zeus, let's change back into our godly forms. Then I shall put a spell on these mortals to where they have donkeys' ears and pigs' noses. That way they'll look as ugly as they act.

Zeus: I have a good mind to call up a storm and blast this city with thunderbolts. But here is one last home. The people here will probably turn out as bad as the rest, but still we must find out.

(Yells) I say, is any one home?

Philemon: Coming, coming. Oh! I say travelers. Baucis, come out. We have visitors.

Baucis: Oh my. Please sit down my friends, you look tired. We were just about to eat so I will just put out two extra plates and cups. Dear Philemon go get our guests some wine. We keep our wine jug in a stream so it will be cool and refreshing.

Now we only have enough wine for four cups, and we just have cabbage and bread for our meal since we are poor folks. But there's plenty of it and we have some nuts and fruit for dessert.

Hermes: Good sir, my friend and I would like some more wine.

Philemon: I'm afraid the jug is almost empty. But there may just a few drops left. (pours) Goodness! There was more wine than I thought. (tastes wine) My oh my, this old wine is more delicious than I remember, too.

Hermes: Please pour us some more, kind friend, and fill your cup as well as your wife's as well.

Philemon: I say Baucis, how much does our jar hold?

Baucis: Four cups. Why?

Philemon: Well, am I losing my wits or what? I gave everyone a drink and that was four cups. Then I gave our guests two more, and finally I gave everyone another drink which makes for a total of ten. How is that possible when our jug only holds four cups?

Baucis: Look Philemon! Wine is bubbling up from the bottom of the jug. Our guests are not humans at all.

(They kneel) Have pity on us, you mighty gods. We have given you no meat with your meal. We have only one animal, a egg laying goose and we shall catch and cook her for you immortal beings.

(Baucis and Philemon chase and shout)

Philemon: Quick there she goes, Baucis.

Baucis: Come back here you feathered rascal.

Philemon: Oh no, that sneaky fowl is trying to fly up into the tree.

Baucis: Goosy, you come down from that oak tree or I'll wring your neck.

Hermes: On the contrary, if she does come down you'll wring her neck.

Zeus: Come here, my good couple, and let your goose live. (pause) I am Zeus and this is crafty Hermes, who has played the trick with your wine jar. Though you are poor humble folks, you were willing to share everything you had with us when you thought we were only wandering humans. Of all the people of this land, only you two are worthy citizens. Now behold! (crash of thunder)

Baucis: Why the city is now covered by a lake, and we are the only ones who remain.

Zeus: Yes, and for your kindness I will grant one wish.

(Couple whispers)

Philemon: My wife and I ask this. We wish that we may die at the same time. We care for each other dearly and neither of us would like to be left lonely after the other's death.

Zeus: You have chosen wisely and you shall have even more than you asked for. When the morning sun rises your hut will be changed into a golden temple and you will be priests of Zeus and Hermes. Then when the time appointed for your death comes, you will not die. Instead you will be changed into trees to grow on this hillside for countless years to come. Now farewell kind souls and may peace be always with you.

(Curtains)

Greek Mythology Home Page
Highland Park Elementary School